The Letter
by GloryJotter
Summary: Severus finds a forgotten letter from an old love.


**I do not own Harry Potter, etc.**

* * *

Severus Snape stood at the sink in the washroom, surveying himself in the mirror. His hair hung in greasy strings around his head, his pale complexion practically glowed in the dim moonlight filtering through the high windows. His fingers, slender and soft, touched each silver button on his robes. He met his gaze in the mirror and his lip curled in that distinctive way of his.

He hated his reflection. He hated his pale complexion and deepening wrinkles, the sagging skin of his jaw, the crow's feet that spread from the corners of his angry eyes. They only served to remind him of the years that has passed, the ages that had been spent, between that day and now.

That day...

He shook the idea from his mind. He could not, would not, think about that day. It was a fluke, she had been weak, It was a taste of what would have been, should have been, and now wasn't.

Snape strode out of the bathroom and down the long flight of stairs. His lips tightened with each step.

Potter was waiting at the bottom.

The impertinent boy had his arms crossed, his disheveled hair sticking out in all directions. He glared up at Snape.

"Mr. Potter." Snape said, his lip curling. This boy, this disrespectful boy, was _just_ like his father.

"Professor." Harry said.

This was a game they played almost every night since Harry had performed that miserable curse on Draco, and Harry already knew the rules. Snape started walking down the hall, growing more annoyed every time Harry's heavy, uneven step fell out of line with his own steady pace. Finally, they came to a large wooden door.

Snape opened it to reveal a room full of filing cabinets.

"Get to work Mr. Potter. You may go when I allow it."

Harry said nothing, only walked to the cabinet that he left off on last night. What time had it been when Snape let him go? At least 2 o'clock in the morning. Given the lack of respect with which Harry greeted him, he could expect to be here just as long this evening, if not longer.

Snape turned and sat at the old desk in the corner of the room. He didn't feel like grading papers, especially as the papers left were Slytherin assignments and he didn't want to grade those while in this foul of a mood.

Nonchalantly, he opened the drawers of the desk one by one. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, some piece of work he had overlooked, some Hufflepuff paper he hadn't graded. Three of the four drawers revealed nothing of interest, but the last...

It was sitting innocently under a pile of papers. Yellowed with age, the scroll fibers were weak and the edge frayed. It was tied with a bright green ribbon and had a single name written on it in looping, elegant script

 _Severus._

Lily. This was her letter, this was her last letter. How long ago had she sent this? Sixteen years? Sixteen years of fear, of horrible, sinking anticipation, Sixteen years of keeping this tucked as far back in his possessions and mind as long as he could, unwilling to even admit its existence, more unwilling to destroy it.

Carefully, for the first time, he unfurled the scroll.

 _Dear Severus,_

He looked up, watching Potter, who was busily shuffling the cards in his hand, sorting them into piles. Carefully, Snape nonchalantly covered the name on the back of the parchment, tucking the green ribbon into his palm.

 _Dear Severus,_

 _I feel so conflicted about writing this. I'm not even really that sure where to begin._

 _I guess, first of all, I forgive you. I do, Severus. I forgive you. And I regret nothing. It was a stressful situation, you know how James can be at times, and I appreciate you being there._

 _That being said, however, I do not condone what you have become or how you live your life. But for that moment, for that beautiful moment, you were the boy I remembered you being as a child. You were my best friend._

 _I suppose our emotions got the better of us, and even though I do not regret what happened, I am obligated to say that it cannot happen again. I love you, Severus, but I love James more. He came home three days after you left, and we have resolved our differences. I think you helped me in that matter. I feel like I've sown my oats, so to speak, and I'm now content to devote myself to him._

 _Shortly after realizing this, something occurred that is likely to haunt me for the rest of my life._

 _I've found out that I'm pregnant, Severus._

 _The dates are very close, so it could very well be James' child, but that's not what my heart believes. In any case and despite what you believe, you and James are so very similar. I doubt I will ever know the truth._

 _This is my plea to you then, Severus. Get out now. Get out of this lifestyle, which serves no purpose but to pain you. If you do stop serving He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and come back to me, come back to us, James has agreed to let you be our child's godfather._

 _Consider it, Severus. Please come back to me._

 _All my love,_

 _Lily_

Severus' mouth twitched and his eyes glanced up at Potter. His black hair, his insubordination... he had done Severus' spell. He had performed it perfectly, exquisitely even. No... that couldn't be... hereditary?

"Potter." Snape said, letting Lily's letter roll back into itself and tossing it back into the drawer.

"Yes, Professor?" Harry spat back.

"You may go."

Harry raised his eyebrow and stared at Snape for a moment, but Severus offered no explanation. After a pause, Harry shrugged and bent to tidy the cards he'd left on the ground.

"Don't bother, Potter. Just leave. But make sure you are _early_ tomorrow evening."

"Yes, Professor." Harry said, defeated, and turned toward the door.

Snape watched as his son grasped the heavy metal handle and disappeared into the hallway.


End file.
